Blog

Navigating wine descriptions, reviews, and tasting notes can feel like trying to read a poem written by a thesaurus after three glasses of Shiraz. Are we tasting wine or deciphering a secret code? Fear not—this guide will help you decode the mysterious language of wine without spilling your Pinot Noir.

.

Wine Descriptions: Poetry or Puzzling?

Wine descriptions are the sommeliers’ way of showing off their creative flair. Expect phrases like “whispers of honeysuckle,” “a bold oak embrace,” or my personal favourite, “a touch of wet stone.” Wet stone? Who’s out there licking rocks for comparison?

Here’s a cheat sheet for common terms:

• Fruity: Actual fruit flavours, like cherry, citrus, or plum. Not to be confused with a fruit salad.

• Earthy: Hints of soil, forest floor, or mushrooms. Yes, it’s fancy dirt vibes.

• Buttery: A creamy, smooth texture often associated with Chardonnay. Think popcorn at a wine-tasting movie night.

• Tannins: The dry, astringent feeling in your mouth. If it reminds you of oversteeped tea, you’re onto something.

When in doubt, trust your taste buds over a description. If your Merlot doesn’t transport you to a sunlit Tuscan vineyard, that’s okay—it’s still doing its job if it pairs well with your pizza.

.

Wine Reviews: The Oscars of the Bottle World

Wine reviews are where critics assign points like they’re judging a reality TV competition. You’ll see scores ranging from 85 (good, but not great) to 100 (so divine, angels weep).

But remember: a high score doesn’t guarantee love at first sip. Critics often favour wines with big, bold flavours, while you might prefer something lighter and more delicate. Reviews are a guideline, not gospel.

A tip: Read the entire review, not just the number. If the critic loves the “crunchy cranberry acidity” but you hate cranberries, maybe skip that bottle.

.

.

Tasting Notes: Sensory Overload or Sensible Guide?

Tasting notes break down a wine’s aromas, flavours, and textures, often leading to a list of adjectives longer than your grocery receipt. Let’s dissect an example:

Tasting Note: “An aromatic bouquet of blackcurrant, leather, and tobacco, with a long finish of dark chocolate and espresso.”

• Blackcurrant: A berry aroma. Yum.

• Leather and tobacco: Don’t worry; your wine hasn’t been hanging out in a biker bar. These are complex, savory scents from aging in oak.

• Long finish: The flavours linger on your palate, like the encore at a concert.

The hilarity? Tasting is subjective. If you’re getting “grape” instead of “tobacco,” congratulations—you’re tasting what wine really is!

.

Final Sip

Understanding wine descriptions, reviews, and tasting notes is an art, not a science. Trust your preferences, explore new varieties, and don’t be afraid to laugh at the absurdity of “a playful hint of gooseberry.” Wine is meant to be enjoyed, not overanalyzed.

Create an account with us today, let the laughter begin and receive a $10 off coupon to kickstart your New Zealand wine journey with us. Cheers to making sense of the nonsense—and to discovering your next favourite bottle.